Our dating lives seem surreal now. As a professional matchmaker, I’m constantly encouraging people to take their online dating lives offline. Now we’re in a period of social distancing to protect the health and safety of not just ourselves, but those we know and those we may not know we know.
I’m writing this as I tell you that the only time I’ve stepped outside of my apartment today was to go down the hallway to the trash and recycle room to put away cardboard boxes and cans. We don’t know for sure when the social distancing period will be over. There are many folks who work at home as it is and may be used to this way of living. While I also have experience working from home, since I meet all of my clients virtually and they’re from all over the country, I still crave outside social connection. It felt so nice to even just hop on a webinar with a coworker today.
We need connections now more than ever. Our physical health and safety are paramount. So is our mental and emotional wellness. Unlike online dating apps or chatting up cute strangers in grocery stores, matchmakers like me are focused on bringing curated people together who may not have otherwise had an opportunity to meet without us.
Here are the top 10 reasons why daters need matchmakers now more than ever:
- Dating Concierge – You Can Date Virtually!
Forget the constant back and forth of small talk and conversations that lead nowhere. We are dating concierges that can setup dates for you virtually. There’s no need to swap germs or the bill right now. We come up topics to chat about while you sip on a Quarantini.
- Personal Dating Buddy – You’ve Got a Friend in Us
Dating is emotionally taxing. We are personal dating buddies that play the role of multiple people you know all wrapped into one. We’re simultaneously your brutally honest friend meshed together with your most patient and empathetic friend. We’re there to cheer you on at your best. We’re there to hold your hand, usually figuratively, sometimes literally, through hard times.
- Dating Feedback – Let’s Talk Dating 101
What did your date REALLY think about you? Not everyone can stomach the truth. If you’re brave enough, you opt it for total transparency. This means opinions on the way you look, the way your dress, the way you walk, talk, and grab multiple slices of appetizer bread. No judgement is off limits. Matchmakers hear it all. We can share it with you, and we can deliver the news back to you in a digestible way. Everyone has an opinion, and you are always welcome to take it or leave it.
- Dating Coach – Less Millionaire Matchmaker, More Hitch
Whenever I tell people that I’m a dating consultant or matchmaker, they have glamorous images appear in their head of Patti Stanger of Millionaire Matchmaker. The truth is that the day-to-day for your average matchmaker is likely more like Alex Hitchens from the romcom Hitch. Our clients aren’t always well-liked, but they’re always a bit loveable. They’re genuine people looking for love who are daring to say that they want their dating lives to be better. They want to learn how to be a better partner. No tricks, no gimmicks, just raw advice.
- Your Time and Energy Matters – Where Does Your Energy Go?
I met my husband on a dating app before I become a matchmaker. Yes, I see the irony there and it’s an ice breaker at uncomfortable dinner parties. Before I met him, I was swiping this way and that on the dating apps. I was going out on dates with different men several times a week. It was fun at first. I felt wooed and wanted and entertained, but I quickly became exhausted. I started to wonder when the end was near. Would I just aimlessly swipe on Cute, Cuter, and Cutest until I swiped my way through all of New York City?
Matchmakers do the legwork for you. We’re the ones making the small talk, asking the personal questions, and qualifying your date for you before you even know they exist. Because we’re not part of your inner circle, we don’t have ulterior motives for you. Our only aim is to get you out there on a quality first date with a great match. We look at both parties’ wants objectively and with an experienced eye.
- Date Brokers – Shy? Don’t Worry About It.
Not everyone does well on the dating apps. Some people aren’t photogenic, and sometimes that’s because your Aunt Susan doesn’t know that you photograph better from your right side. Some people don’t know how to write a captivating bio, and sometimes that’s your girlfriends sitting in your living room, sipping Quaratinis while you fumble through your ABOUT ME in less than 500 words and saying, “Yes, Jessica—slay! That’s so you.”
We are date brokers. You don’t have to worry about having that fantasy experience of a stranger coming up to you in a coffee shop. We have access to your dream person the same way that real estate brokers know what apartments are available in the neighborhood you’re looking for. We make the intros. The rest is on you to close the deal.
- Experience and Expertise – It’s in our DNA!
I have so much fun being a matchmaker that I often forget that it’s a real job. Matchmaking is one of jobs that makes the cliché of doing what you love so you never work a day in your life be a reality. The first few days on the job as a matchmaker are terrifying, the first few weeks are daunting, the first few months are exhilarating, and then after a while, you get that “AHAH!” moment. You begin to notice patterns and suddenly there’s data you can extrapolate. You gut instinct becomes innate. You can smell a good versus a bad match from a mile away. Suddenly, we’re the dating expert you call on because we have the knowledge and experience.
- Your Type – Are You SURE About That?
- Spencer, 6’1”, 35-years-old, FinTech sales manager and looking for a woman between 5’4” – 5”8”, brown hair, blue eyes, and making $100,000 a year within 10 miles of Pittsburgh.
- Kathy, 5’11”, 50-years-old, Surgeon and looking for a woman who is currently or was at some point in their life, a dancer, musician, or artist, preferably from a German, Irish, or English heritage.
- Alicia, 5’2”, 65-years-old, retired lawyer and looking for man at least 6’0”, no older than 60 because she’s very young at heart, and must love dogs.
Spencer, Kathy, and Alicia are fictional people, but they’re not too far off from the people I talk to everyday who tell me who they are and what they’re looking for. So, for a guy like Spencer, he may want to consider going the distance for a woman who lives several miles outside of Pittsburgh. Would you really want the difference of an extra 10-15 minutes stop you from true love? Kathy may usually date the creative types, but she may do well by considering women with different interests who can show her a diverse side of life. Alicia is stuck on age because in her mind, men just couldn’t keep up with her stamina, but what if they are like her, also a bit older, and still young at heart and very active?
Have you seen the show LOVE IS BLIND on Netflix? Despite it being a total dumpster fire of a show that I binged every week with my husband on our Thursday Pizza Night, it brought up some great points about bring us out of our comfort zone about our type. We date not just to find someone who is a great match for us, but to also find out who isn’t a great match for us. We can surprise ourselves by dating people we normally wouldn’t.
- Confidentiality – Only We Know Your Business 😉
When I was on the dating apps, I signed up for features where you can see who liked you in your queue before you keep on swiping. I saw photo that stuck out to me of a gentleman running in a field, covered in mud, and in a bright purple t-shirt and I thought to myself, “Where have I see this photo before?” He had the same first name as someone I went to college with, and I went on my Facebook to cross-reference the photo and the name. Geeze, I went to college with this guy! He could have just messaged me on Facebook.
You’ll probably see a profile of someone you know on the dating apps. Worse, you’ll see someone you used to date on the dating apps. It’s uncomfortable. It also breeds nostalgic curiosity and can lead you down a dark path of rocky road ice cream and the reunion episode of LOVE IS BLIND. Matchmakers know your business. We also know your date’s business. We do not overshare either of those, and we keep your confidentiality in mind.
- Your Health and Safety – It’s About You and Your Date
Things are changing so quickly every day. Restaurants and bars were open until they weren’t. People were outside until there were curfews. We started self-quarantining. Social distance is the new norm. Because we are encouraged to be far apart now physically speaking, are mental, emotional, and social connections are more important now than ever.
While matchmaking and being a dating expert helps me pay the bills, I ultimately do it because I love what I do. I love to help people. I see the daily result of making an impact in people’s lives, no matter how small, every day. I am here to help people continue to make connections, even if virtually. Your physical health and safety come first. That also means that your emotional wellbeing should be taken care of. Dating, even virtually, can help in the meantime until we’re all ready to come offline again.
If you’re interested in trying Matchmaking for free, here’s my free code!
TRY MATCHMAKING FOR FREE WITH KELLY!
While we have packages and paid services, your experience would be totally complimentary and confidential. Fill in a little more information about yourself. If it’s a match, we’ll be in touch about setting up a date.
Stay safe, stay healthy, and wash your hands,