“ WEEK 120 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS “

One of my favorite phrases is “no mud, no lotus.” The lotus flower is said to be one of the most beautiful flowers, but the lotus flower can only grow in mud. The thicker and murkier the mud, the more beautifully the lotus grows. It’s the perfect life analogy. Through our struggles, we grow and hopefully become more kind, understanding, and mature because of these struggles.




It’s nice in theory, of course, that we can all be more caring and compassionate to those around us. It’s a whole different ballgame when the pressure is on and if you don’t take a step back, you may end up saying something cruel and thoughtless. Someone may say something hurtful or rude to you in passing, and you’re left wondering what you did to get on their bad side, or you just end up thinking that they’re a complete jerk.




Either way, don’t let the bad feelings fester. You may think it’s better to just shrug it off, but you’re just sweeping it under the rug. If you realize later on that you said something that may have rubbed someone the wrong way, or vice versa, just take a moment to bring them aside and talk about it. When in doubt, you can use the DESCript method.




DESCRIBE the problem. Perhaps it was a tactless joke. Maybe it was someone’s tone and attitude. Get to the root of it and hone in on why you’re bringing the person aside.

EXPLAIN why it’s a problem. The tactless joke was unprofessional. That person’s tone and attitude used during the lunch meeting may have scared off the client. They may not be intentionally being crude. Sometimes people just don’t realize that they’re coming off that way. Bring it to their attention quickly and privately.

SPECIFY desired outcomes. In the future, if you’re not sure if the joke will be taken well, don’t say it. Watch your tone. When we’re excited or anxious, we may just let out every thought going on in our mind, and completely forget how another person will interpret our excitement. Take a step back and take a breath. It’s a wonderful thing to be passionate, but don’t let that passion get in the way of your ultimate plan to achieve your goal or purpose of showing off that passion in the first place.

Lay out the CONSEQUENCES. If you keep on throwing around those careless jokes, you’ll keep on alienating people. If your emotion overtakes the words coming out of your mouth, people will just hear “BLARGGHHH!!” as opposed to, “I’d like to offer some alternatives.”

It’s your prerogative to be open and honest with you coworkers and your clients. When you’re not honest with your feelings, the underlying problems just bubble up to a boil. Ultimately, you’re working as team and you’re working to make sure you have the best professional relationship with them as possible. Once you get the feelings into the open, all else will fall into place and you can get back to the actual tasks at hand.








@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales



Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.

Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.


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