Week 103: Over-or-Underanimation – #AlphaFemaleFriday


“ WEEK 103 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS “

Have you ever seen someone who is over-animated? They are like a balloon with a small hole, releasing all their helium and running around the room frantically. It’s entertaining but ultimately distracting, if not a bit frightening. Their demeanor grabs your attention but you cannot take them seriously. Perhaps they are nervous and overcompensating by trying to put forth a false bravado, although it clearly shows that you’d rather not be a part of their excessive narrative. Think of a few celebrities who are known for their wild antics but whose messages are lost in the hubbub.





There are people who are so painfully under-animated that you can’t help but wonder how they convinced anyone to hand them a microphone in the first place. They clam up and drone on. They’re way too serious and it’s terribly boring. Their message is said clearly but you’ll forget it soon enough.





Last week I talked about gesturing, and the difference between someone who is a choppy and structured ax gesturer versus someone who flails around like a fish out of water. It’s a fine balance between the two, and the same goes for being animated. Our animation and our degree of it is a combination of our gestures, facial expressions, talking speed, and other forms of body language. When I get nervous, I’m guilty of talking too quickly.





No one is perfect when it comes to speaking in public, to a stranger on a phone, or even with our nearest and dearest friends and family. We might stare at someone too long so it creeps them out. We might not look at someone enough and they think we’re hiding something. We having a million thoughts going on in our head, so our natural facial expressions might come across as stone-cold angry or hysterically restless. We will try to get our points across so we speak too slow, offending someone who would rather you speak to them like an adult and not a child, or we speak so fast that no one catches a word of our message.





The point is that we all have flaws when we seek to convey our messages to others. It’s about recognizing those flaws and knowing when to flip the switch or try something different. When speaking with someone about a time sensitive and urgent matter, we may speak more briskly and with certain brevity to emphasize that urgency. When speaking with someone about a topic that needs to be conveyed and analyzed with certain heaviness, we may speak slowly and with more care to show that we are sympathetic to the serious matter at hand. As with most things in life, it’s about knowing the extremes, understanding them, and striking a balance between the two like a communication harmony.







@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales



Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.

Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.


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