Week 91: Don’t do the Feedback Sandwich – #AlphaFemaleFriday
“ WEEK 91 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS “
Let’s just get this common misstep out of the way: you’ve heard about the feedback sandwich (i.e. positive feedback, constructive feedback, more positive feedback)—don’t do it. You’re not a child to be coddled, and if you’re a parent, I wouldn’t recommend it either. That doesn’t mean that if you’re going to give someone constructive feedback that you should just lash it out and leave them hanging out to dry. When giving feedback, it should be specific and focus on positive results—the feedback just shouldn’t be vague. It should be direct and to the point. Rip off the bandage.
Instead of doing the feedback sandwich method, try the DESCript method: DESCRIPTIONS, EXPLANATIONS, SPECIFICATIONS, and CONSEQUENCES. Describe to the person you’re speaking with why you’re having the conversation. Explain to the person how you see the situation from your perspective, and seek to understand what they’re seeing. Specify how to make progress in the situation. Show how the feedback can lead to more positive consequences. It’s all about proper communication.
Whether you’re having a serious conversation with your significant other or giving feedback to a colleague, don’t speak in absolutes—I know, it’s easier said than done especially in the heat of a moment. The moment you’re about to spew out “you always” or “you never”, stop yourself right there because it’s no longer a logical argument. It’s become an emotional monologue and the other person has no choice but to either sit there and listen to your exaggerated woes or to reply and attempt to rationalize the irrational. You can always speak your mind and give feedback, but do so in a way that you can be honest without doing unnecessary harm.
@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales
Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.
Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.