Week 75: Soliciting Feedback – #AlphaFemaleFriday
“ WEEK 75 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS “
Have you ever found yourself in an argument with someone where you find yourself saying, “Well, of course I didn’t mean it that way! That’s just how it came out.” You find yourself aggravated with the other person because you cannot even begin to understand how they interpreted your seemingly harmless choice of words to be something maliciously premeditated. One thing leads to another, and you find yourself rapidly backpedaling as the other person scrutinizes every one of your words. You’re digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole, wondering how you got into that argument in the first place.
We’ve all been there—whether it’s been in your personal or professional life, we have all accidentally said something where the other person took it to mean something absolutely different from the way you meant to express yourself. In the same way that we may be shocked by others’ interpretations of our words, we may also find ourselves surprised by other’s feedback—solicited or otherwise.
However unwanted other people’s feedback may be, the truth is that perception is reality. While there will certainly be people that come into your life and wish you nothing but ill will, there will also be people in your life who put you up on a pedestal and hold you to the highest regards (hi, Grandma). Who can we trust to give us good, honest feedback? Everyone else who falls in the middle. They do not worship the ground you walk on, but they also don’t want to see you left in the gutter with your hands tied to it.
It’s important to actively seek feedback. At whatever stage we are in of our lives and our careers, we can always stand to improve ourselves and be the best version of ourselves that we can be. In the same way that we may get really focused on a trendy new workout that combines pilates and yoga, we may get so wrapped up in trying to master this new skill that we forget about the fundamentals. We forget to stretch our muscles and do weights and cardio.
The same thing can happen in our careers. We may be getting really focused on learning a new, advanced skill as we grow in our careers that we forget the basics of how to be a great, cordial coworker or an inspiring leader to our team. We get feedback in areas that need to be strengthened or where we can stand to do better, and sometimes (guilty as charged over here), we scoff. We wonder: well, haven’t I gotten here in the first place? I must know what I am doing! Of course you know it—you just need to practice it again.
Continue to ask yourself and others how you can do better. You won’t be caught off guard the next time someone tells you to take a break from the PiYo (it’s a thing now, I swear!) and get back to the basics.
@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales
Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.
Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.