Week 54: The Art of Negotiation – #AlphaFemaleFriday


“ WEEK 54 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS ”

Let’s talk about the art of negotiation. Short story: don’t undervalue or underestimate yourself. Long story: there are four factors we need to talk about which affect your negotiation strategies including entitlement, worth, proving yourself, and consequences. My opinion: get out there and just do it. You’ll never know how good you are at negotiation until you try.



There is a key differentiator between men and women when they negotiate. Men feel they are more entitled to additional benefits, such as a larger salary, than their female counterparts. Women ask for what they believe is equal and fair.  Men ask for what they believe they deserve. If you feel you need more resources to get your job done, just ask for them and make your case. Do your research and sell it.




Know your worth and don’t be afraid to flaunt it. No one is going to vouch for you the way you’re going to vouch for yourself. You can show your worth without being obnoxious about it, and that’s what many women fear. They stand back, wanting to appear graceful and humble before your eyes, but it’s that very notion that holds us back from where we are and where we want to be. You can get there. You just need to cross that line and have no regrets or qualms about it. When you’re talking about yourself, you’re not embellishing and spewing lies—that would be obnoxious. You’re stating facts, and that’s presenting yourself at your very best—nothing less.




How many times have you hear someone you know, including yourself, say, “I’ll ask for a raise when I do x, y, z”? Of course, if you’re a few weeks into your new job and just want to shake things up, that may be an inappropriate time to ask for a raise. Women tend to stand by and wait to prove themselves before they ask for more. Men tend to waltz on in and say, “Because I’ve done x, y, and z in the past, I deserve more right now.” I believe in striking when the iron is hot. Knowing when to strike is something that comes with careful observation and practice.




Should you be proud to invest in yourself? Of course. Just know there are consequences that come with asking for more, depending on how you frame it. You don’t want to come off greedy and obnoxious, but you don’t want to appear as a sad, little church mouse begging for scraps either. If you really want to negotiate and state your case while not feeling like Scrooge McDuck, then say you need more time, money, and/or resources because it’s good for the company or team. It’s not an embellishment if, once again, you do your research, state your case, and sell it well. It takes practice, but the more you do it, better you get. The only want to know is to begin now.







@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales                                                                                




Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.

Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.



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