Week 49: Expanding Your Reality – #AlphaFemaleFriday

“ WEEK 49 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS ”

I just came back from a trip which got me thinking about how, as sales people, we always need to be on our toes. We always need to put our game face on because you never know who or what possibilities are lurking around the corner or next to you on the plane. (Rest assured I won’t be that person who wants to chat it up on the red eye flight. I respect your need to fall asleep or binge on all the TV show you haven’t watched.)


Beyond the old adage that we must follow the golden rule of ABC (always be closing!), I think we need to discuss what it means to step out of our comfort zone. Case in point: can a woman or should a woman travel on her own and decide to sit at a bar by herself? As exhilarating as travel can be, I must say that I do get lonely from time to time. That’s part of the thrill of travel though, isn’t it? To get to the point where you’re either absolutely comfortable in your own company, or you get so lonely that you must seek friendships and relationships with strangers.


Take an example of what happened to me last week at a bar in Atlanta. I was with a colleague at the bar, waiting for my turn to get a drink. As the five foot, one inch (woop-de-doo!) girl at bar, I struggle to be seen over much more vertically gifted folk, even in high heels. A gentleman offered to help me get a drink, a nice gesture, but then he offered to put both mine and my colleague’s drink on his tab. I wasn’t comfortable with the gesture, but I thanked him and left it at that.


After that night, I got thinking about how that scenario could have been different. Perhaps his older gentlemen in his mid-fifties and his sweaty was just performing stereotypical rituals at the bar. We all get lonely from time to time. I can’t say I fault the guy for following that old, and often outdated, tradition of attempting to “pick up” young women at the bar.


At the same time, could I have turned the situation around and steered the conversation towards business instead? Maybe I could have, or maybe not. I still think I will take that chance going forward. We feel comfortable enough approaching strangers at networking events which also take place in restaurants, bars, and even clubs. Why wouldn’t we, myself included, feel comfortable approaching someone at a bar for professional networking purposes outside of an officially sanctioned event?


Here’s to the people who expand their own realities, whether those are small steps (smiling at strangers) or huge leaps (starting a new business with a stranger) and everything in between (smiling at the stranger at the bar, perhaps in hopes of expanding opportunities?)




@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales                                                                                  


Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.

Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.



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