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Week 40: Limp Fish and The Vice Grip – #AlphaFemaleFriday

“ WEEK 40 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS ”

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make a certain and lasting impression on the people we meet for the first time. Something as simple as a handshake can quickly become a moment of unnecessary anxiety, all because we are not sure if we should wait for the other person to open up their hand. I’ve made it up in my mind that even if there other person does not offer their hand first, I need to be that person that does it.

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Offering your hand, I believe, is a symbol of both respect and politeness. It is a mark of confidence, a gesture that says, “I wish to get to know you.”  Even if the other person does not appear as receptive or interested, we can at least say that we tried to put ourselves out there. Just like other skills in life, and I considering knowing how to give a good handshake one of them, the more we practice, the better we get.

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It’s important to remember to have a handshake that falls between being a limp fish and the vice grip. Shaking the hand of someone who gives a weak handshake feels like you’re holding a limp, slippery fish you just picked up from the market. On the other hand, if you shake someone who just REALLY wants to EXUDE confidence, it ends up feeling more like they REALLY just want to DOMINATE your hand. It’s uncomfortable for the receiver of the Limp Fish or the Vice Grip. The point being that we may not give a perfect handshake, but as long as we reach out to even attempt the gesture, we’re already putting ourselves out there.

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A friend was recently telling me about a Vanity Fair article which she read about the death of dating due to social media. While a guy and a girl are next to each other at a bar, both are looking down at their phones. They may very well be at the bar by themselves, but they are each looking at dating apps such as Tinder. If that were, say, ten years ago, that guy and girl at the bar might actually be talking to each other.

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I think we rarely meet the loves of our lives at a bar, but hey, you never know. I believe social media and technology helps us get to the door, a great way and tool of meeting people we may not have otherwise had the resources to reach out to before, but social media can only get us so far. It is our impression that we make, the handshakes that we extend, that get us through that door instead of just knocking on the outside of it. We may not meet the client or future boss of our dreams at a rooftop pool party, but hey, at least we know to extend our hand.

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Cheers,

Kelly

@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales                                                                                

About:

Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.

Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.

 

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