Week 34: The Biggest Office No-No – #AlphaFemaleFriday


“ WEEK 34 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS ”

If I had not my significant other in college, I would have chosen between two different paths of meeting the man I would eventually settle down with: through work or through online dating. As much as I try not to judge others, there is one particular office situation I find it difficult to remain objective in: when you become romantically involved with someone you work with. There are very few situations which I see as this being appropriate. For example, if you work in different departments or different areas of the same company, perhaps this can make sense. It’s a whole other, inappropriate situation when the person you sleep with is the same person you wake up to the next morning to debrief how operations are going over in Macau.




At the same time, can you really blame people for eating where they—you know the phrase. Our modern world’s daily grind as we seek to climb the corporate ladder or play in the jungle gym, as Sheryl Sandberg referred to it, doesn’t leave much room for romantic ventures. In the same way we end up becoming great friends with our coworkers or clients, we can end up becoming romantically involved with those same people.




I still think it’s a no-no to get involved with people in the same office, especially when a sour breakup can lead to all sorts of messes—emotionally for the people involved among dozens of other negative consequences for both parties’ careers. Where I have seen this work is when people have found love not in the same office or work environment, but rather while working in the same industry. I think this one of the most beautiful love stories, to find one’s life partner while doing exactly what we love.




I urge you to never settle with someone because you are too tired or distracted to look elsewhere but your own pond of fishes. Each industry has its own ocean of special fishes, and even then, when you are least expecting it, you could meet someone while not looking at all. It doesn’t have to work-related, it can be your hobby or through mutual friends and acquaintances. Keep your head up so you never have to hold your head down.






@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales                                                                                




Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.

Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.


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