Week 31: Be Authentic (But Not Too Personal) – #AlphaFemaleFriday

“ WEEK 31 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS ”

When does information become too much? How can a person live authentically while still not giving everything away? It’s a fine line to walk, especially in the professional arena. Authenticity leads to vulnerability, and that sense of naked truth often leaves many of us scared to really be ourselves. It tends to go one of two ways: either way overcompensate and shut everyone and everything out, or we just give in and come spewing out all our verbal minutia like an everlasting fountain. There is a balance, and we must be aware of this balance whether it is in our professional or personal life.


To speak of both ends of the spectrum, I think it’s difficult for us to get along with and to understand those who fall on either extreme. This is not to say that we shouldn’t try to be with those who talk too much or talk to little, but we must be aware of their personal limitations and look within ourselves to attempt not to fall into the same pattern.


If we are going through a rough patch in our life, there’s no need to tell every Tom, Dick, and Harry in the office about the awful, very bad, no good thing we’re going through. However, if we know it may very well affect our time, our emotions, and physical well-being, that does not mean we have to go through the terrible things completely alone. We should confide in those close to us, and we must identify those who are close to us. We should define the parameters of the “need-to-know” versus the “okay, maybe I can save this for my personal diaries or for my next girls’ night out over cocktails discussion”.


We need to understand what is in our control, and what isn’t in our control when things go awry and we feel completely alone and need to either disgorge every minute detail or forage it all under our beds. I think once we make our spheres of control versus things out of our control, and the latter tends to be a lot larger than we think, it is a very humbling experience. So be authentic. When I think of specific pop culture references to put it into perspective, I think of that famous Warrant song: surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away.




@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales                                                                                



Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.

Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.


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