Week 30: Gauging Your Truth Meter – #AlphaFemaleFriday

“ WEEK 30 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS ”

There is such a thing as being too honest, and it goes beyond holding back just to protect someone’s feelings. There comes a point when being too honest does more harm than good. I encountered this recently when I had become privy to information that would not normally be shared with me otherwise. In doing this, I found myself walking a thin line, wondering to myself: if this information is so private, should I really be involved with this? Even if I was not guilty of doing anything wrong in the grand scheme of life, I still felt like I was tiptoeing the line since there were several parties involved who had no idea what was going on around them. I soon realized though that if I had fought for my skewed and subjective moral compass that I would be doing more harm than good for the sake of the truth.


On the other hand, I have also been witness to painfully honest people. These people, who I admire for personal reasons for being so frank, are so unfiltered that they do not realize the damage they do to others and themselves in their own wake of candidacy. When crap hits the fan, so to speak, they tend to fess up and fall into a spiral of blame and self-flagellation. It is one thing to own up to your mistakes, but it is quite another to give the rundown and nitty-gritty details of every misguided step. This is well-intentioned from the honest speaker, but it really just ends up becoming a time waster when all we really want to do is highlight the end result, find the root of the issue, and find a solution to the said problem.


At one point, I used to live by the phrase “I would rather die a truth than live a lie”. I wouldn’t go so far to say that “ignorance is bliss”, but I would say that there are no hard and fast rules. There can be a balance between the two extremes. I often think back to the philosophy class I took where the professor gave us two options: either we could have family and not accomplish any of other our personal life or career goals, or we can skyrocket in our careers but not have any family or children. I couldn’t help about how many people, especially women, have had to make that actual choice in their real lives. Whenever I think about finding balance between two extremes, whether it be the ultimate truth vs. the ultimate lie or the best family vs. the best career, I think about exactly why I became a feminist. I became a feminist because I had always thought to myself: why not a little of both?




@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales                                                                                


Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.

Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.

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