Week 29: The Boys’ Club – #AlphaFemaleFriday

“ WEEK 29 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS ”

I had one of my first girls’ nights this past Saturday night in several weeks. After seeing this particular girlfriend who I had not seen in several months, I felt like I had gained a fresh perspective on my current position. While last week I discussed embracing your natural style, this week I am focused on understanding the trials and tribulations of trying to fit into the boys’ club as a woman. I had known this girlfriend since she and I were in middle school together, and she had been one of the few female friends I had back then through middle and high school. I had always grown up having more male friends than female friends.


Roxanne Gay in Bad Feminist described this same predicament, the idea that she felt more sophisticated growing up compared to “those girls” who were friends with so many other girls. I fell into that same trap, thinking that I must have been the ultimate cool girl because I had a slew of male friends who adored me. I grew up thinking I fit it with the guys, that because of this, I somehow had a better handle on what it meant to be part of the proverbial boys’ club.


Fast forward to my modern day career, and I realize that the boys’ club prevails even in the workplace. While the hospitality industry is full of women and minorities, especially female minorities, the fact is that straight, white, males still dominate in the industry where it is most public and prevalent. Men still rule in the C-Suite, while women pop in every now and then as more of the glorified exception than the rule.


The times are changing, and I do think that we will see more female minorities come to the forefront in the future. I just think that it may take a few generations for us to really see what is today considered a great rarity to become the new normal. All I really know for sure in this moment is that me thinking that I can and should even attempt to fit into the boys’ club does an injustice  to both myself and other women in the industry who are trying to break away from the boys’ club altogether. What I and other women can do in order to make women having their rightful place in their respective fields is recognize that while there is the boys’ club that does not mean that that is the only game in town.




@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales                                                                                


Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.

Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.


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