Week 26: The Platinum Rule – #AlphaFemaleFriday

Week 26: The Platinum Rule – #AlphaFemaleFriday

“ WEEK 26 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS ”

I grew up learning about The Golden Rule: treat others as you want to be treated. As good of a rule as I think that is, and as well intentioned as I think that rule is, I think that we often overlook the idea of The Platinum Rule. The Platinum Rule is similar to The Golden Rule, except that The Platinum Rule suggests we treat others the way that they want to be treated. There is a time and a place to use one or the other, and it comes with practice, experience, and wisdom that we learn the way we can help others. Sometimes it means that we have to help others see something they never saw in themselves (use The Golden Rule), and sometimes it means that we have to help ourselves see something else in others (use The Platinum Rule).

Last week I discussed our need to be liked, which is crucial for our emotional and social sanity. I discussed how we attempt to overcompensate to be liked by others, or undervalue ourselves as a result of our need to be liked. On the other extreme end, there are times when we don’t work as hard to be liked. There is a quote that observes that we seek love from those who don’t love us, but we ignore those who do love us. The fact is even if we do not necessarily like another person, we must seek to respect them. We have to go beyond The Golden Rule, beyond asking ourselves, “what would I like?” and ask ourselves “what would they like?”

We have to learn to switch perspectives, to see the way that others see us, the way that we see ourselves, and the reality of who we really are. There are women who are naturally warmhearted, loving, empathetic, and stereotypically feminine. In an effort to be taken seriously in the workplace, women may overcompensate and become stale, austere, and linear in order to be business oriented. I used to think that since I am naturally the cuddly, loving, Labrador retriever kind of woman that I would have to hide that sweet, caring side of me to be respected.

While I certainly do not jump over cubicles, wag my rear end, and lick people’s faces to let them know I am excited to see them, I have learned that it is certainly encouraged to be one’s most authentic self. I’ve begun to learn the balance of loving but firm, to show others how genuine I am while still showing that my kindness is not to be confused with weakness. I believe in getting done what needs to be done, but there is no reason that we can’t have fun along the way. If I am the Elle Woods of the hotel world, then so be it. Bend and snap.

Cheers,

Kelly

@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales                                                                                

About:

Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.

Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.