Week 19: From Nice Girl to Winning Woman – #AlphaFemaleFriday
“ WEEK 19 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS ”
I’ve stepped on a few toes these past few weeks. Some were accidental, and others were purposeful. The most important thing I’ve learned about getting what you want is that sometimes, even when you aim for that win-win situation, the other party will still feel like they’ve lost out. Months ago, before I started my 133 Weeks to Success project, I would have felt like a horrible person. I would have felt like I failed as a human being for so much as hurting someone else’s feelings unintentionally.
Now that I’m nineteen weeks into it, I realize that I can’t take the time to stop and smell the roses, to have to apologize for everyone who licks their own wounds. There are people out there who want to win just as badly, and when they don’t get their way, they try to drag you into their pity party. Word of advice from someone who used to get sucked into it: don’t get sucked into it. It only gets worse from there, and they expect you to be a weekly attendee to their sob story soirees.
The most important takeaway I have had so far from developing my winning woman mentality is seeking to understand the root causes of pushback. Someone doesn’t like your opinion? They have a very strong feeling about why they want someone doing something a certain way? Okay, that’s fine. We all have opinions and preferences, and some are more rational than others. If there is a possible rational explanation beneath the emotional exteriors we let slip every so often, I say we must seek to understand what those rational reasons are behind the emotional reactions.
I think when I first started working in New York City I was afraid of pushback when I asked for what I wanted. I was afraid of stepping on toes. I was afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings. Then I realized that if I showed my character, my personality, and my values consistently to the people I work with, they would learn to know and begin to understand the root causes behind my behavior. I am tenacious, strong-willed, and passionate. This can be synonymous with a high strung, Type-A, Nervous Nancy. I say: so be it. I will get done what needs to be done with a smile.
@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales
Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.
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