Week 15: Defending Aggressors – #AlphaFemaleFriday
“ WEEK 15 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS ”
I’m all for passion and being engulfed with to the point of obsession with whatever you believe in, as long as it do no unreasonable harm to others. I say “unreasonable” because a wounded ego in a rational debate is bound to happen when discussing controversial topics where there are opposing viewpoints. At the same time, there is a difference between someone who wants to voice their opinion, and someone who wants to shove their opinion down your throat with no room for maneuvering, all the while screaming “ME me MeeEEeeeEEEEeee~!”
This week, I’ve been thinking about being in a position where you find yourself at a crossroads of defending someone else. You must decide whether or not to stand by their side because of owed loyalty, in spite of the fact that you may very well disagree with their point. On top of that, you may just think they’re a downright jerk.
Pragmatically, I’ve learned that my personal opinions about someone, at least professionally speaking, don’t really matter. In fact, even in my own personal life, I think we’re all victims or captors of our own personal biases and others’ biases against or for us. There will be people who love us unconditionally (hi Mom), and there will be people who don’t like us one bit and yet barely even know us (my sympathies to the Kardashian clan who fall prey to strangers’ visceral opinions). What matters the most is less what others think about us, and more about what are actions say about us. Our actions will speak volumes of our character.
If someone doesn’t like me or if I don’t like them, fine. We’re bound to just not click with some people due to differences of opinion and personalities that just don’t jive—it doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person or that someone I may not like on a personal level is a horrible human being. It just may very well mean that our personalities don’t match.
On that note, in a professional environment, the least that I can do for someone, and the most that I expect from a colleague or coworker, is a certain level of good, ol’ R-E-S-P-E-C-T. I’ve seen what happens when someone lets emotions get the best of them. It gets ugly. An otherwise valid point quickly turns catty and unprofessional when presented in that overdramatic manner. Always voice your opinion and say your piece, even if your voice shakes. Just keep in mind that if you don’t respect others and you act out, you are undermining your own character and you inherently disrespect yourself.
@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales
Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.
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