Week 8: Business Boundaries and Doormat Guilt- #AlphaFemaleFriday
“ WEEK 8 / 133 – 133 WEEKS TO SUCCESS ”
The past two weeks haven’t had a boring moment for the world at large, and I have been holding down the fort on my end with the global repercussions of events, whether they have been moments of positivity or bouts of tragedy. Only have I taken on new assignments which are foreign to me, both literally and figuratively speaking, I have also been named to be part of the global board of a travel organization aimed at professional hospitality and travel industry millennials with chapters in New York City, San Francisco, and so forth!
The past two weeks have taught me several valuable lessons about taking on assignments that I cannot budget the time for or honestly do not have the resources to perform. It means that I have learned to become more honest with others, and most importantly myself.
Tips for Handling Doormat Guilt
- Not reaching for low-profile, low-impact assignments
- I love helping out where I can, but I’ve learned that just because I can do something does not mean that I should do it. There’s a difference between projects that are high urgency but low importance versus projects that may not be as urgent but are of higher importance.
- Recognizing delegating up, down, and dismissing inappropriate delegation
- This leads to the next tip: recognizing when it is appropriate and inappropriate to delegate. There is a difference between a manager in control and a leader who leads. I recognize that I cannot do everything, and embrace my strengths by inherently acknowledging and respecting my boundaries. By encouraging someone who should learn to do certain tasks, I both reinforce my own skills by teaching and help others learn.
- By that same virtue, we must also recognize when we or others are delegating inappropriately. Sometimes we run into issues that we do not have the skill set to solve and are handed those challenges. I believe in rising to the occasion when at all possible, but it is also just as important to take a step back and ask yourself: do I really have all the answers and resources to properly handle this issue? If not, reevaluate, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Use that common sense of yours!
- Practicing self-talk and recognizing the doormat guilt feeling
- I’m a textbook case Type-A control freak to the bone. Did I mention that I love to help people for the hundredth time? Because I will say it again. I work in the hospitality industry, and we live by the standards of having the heart of a servant. To be a lady or a gentleman serving ladies and gentlemen as per classic hotelier speak.
- I agree with the notion that those who are truly sympathetic and empathetic are the ones who shine the most in this industry. I also think that we so often succumb to doormat guilt when we can’t always please others, whether those “others” are our friends, family, coworkers, or clients. We are human, and we have to forgive ourselves and admit that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being anything less than human: imperfect and yet wonderful in so many ways.
Wishing you all the best! 🙂
@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales
Each week, I take a tip from Lois P. Frankel’s book, Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office, and explore how each of these tips affect myself and other women in similar positions on the road to becoming the women we want to be. There are far and few between who are a few steps behind me, and many more who are far advanced. I found that Lois P. Frankel’s advice applied to novice, intermediates, and experts alike. It helped me see that I was already doing right, served as a reminder to keep on doing what I was doing and how to keep that momentum going. The book also showed me areas where I could improve, and gave realistic tips to jump on board. There are a total of 133 tips, and explore one tip per week in a program I call: 133 Weeks to Success.
Join the movement using the hashtag #133WeeksToSuccess with posts which are posted every #AlphaFemaleFriday.