Liabilities and Assets: Examining your Personal Grey Area – #AlphaFemaleFriday
The liabilities and assets of our lives are not just on our monthly bank statements. The liabilities we carry as burdens on our shoulders and the assets which help up grow as people can be people, things, and ideas. I think of my twenties as a time of growth and renewal, and with growth and renewal has come chaos and destruction, both of which were inevitable and not mutually exclusive. If I wanted to learn and change as a person for the better, I would have to leave the things—some tangible, others intangible—in my wake.
Leaving these things behind has led to cathartic losses and the realization that sometimes things may fall apart so that new things can grow. I’m looking at balancing the equation of my life. I had to step back, look at the entire balance sheet of my life, and realize that there were far more liabilities than assets in my personal life.
It was easy to put what was clearly a liability (unhealthy behaviors, negative thoughts) in one box, and what was clearly an asset (healthy habits, positive mantras) in another. Then came the grey areas of my life. This proved to be much more challenging. These things were neither an asset for survival or giving me any clear cut benefits, but at the same time, they were not necessarily making me a worse person. Instead, it just took up neutral space in my life.
Everyone has a grey area in their life, a metaphorical drawer of stuff that just sat there. These are the things that you are too scared or too tired to throw out, but you never actually use. They’re a security blanket to hold onto at night, a memorandum of your past lives.
I realized that the grey area of my life needed to be better defined. If the thoughts of this grey area were weighing down so heavily on me, it was time to let go. This meant that I had to realize that there were just certain people, places, and things I have outgrown, and vice versa. There was no bad blood – just dead ends and recognizing things for the way they once were, and being able to say that I was ready to move on from the past.
I don’t think we can ever escape our past, but we can learn from it. We can recognize that what happened is what happened, and there’s no going back or changing it. I believe that if we are upset, we are living in the past, and that if we are anxious, we are living in the future. So here’s to recognizing that what once was, what will be, and where we are right now.
Here’s to living in the moment.
Kelly (@AlphaFemSociety tweets by @KellyRGonzales)