One day, upon deciding between a savory, truffled mozzarella crepe and a sweet Beuree et Sucre at Bar Suzette in Chelsea Market in Manhattan, I stumbled into Anthropologie. There on display was the international bestseller: Backwards in High Heels by Tania Kindersley and Sarah Vine. Don’t let my Alpha Female attitude fool you. Above all else, I am a hopeless romantic who believes in the power of love. After reading the chapter on love, among other chapters in the book which discussed heated topics such as careers, sex, politics, and the combination of the three, I decided to explore the difference between romantic and marital love.
Romantic Love – This is the love that Gatsby had for Daisy. This is the love that Romeo had for Juliet. This is the love that you swore, over and over again, you had for your first boyfriend and that when you broke up you were just broken because “he was your whole life”. Romantic Love is the sort of love that, scientifically speaking, is a signal winding through your neural pathways.
This video from TED-Ed, entitled “What Is Love?” explains love as we know it in less than five minutes—Haddaway references aside.
Marital Love – Kindersley and Vine bring up a great point about what makes a perfect marriage. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT MARRIAGE. There are only successful marriages that involve a “sexual and intellectual partnership where neither party is subsumed by the other, where the needs of the individual are at least in part satisfied by the needs of the whole and vice versa; and where one of you occasionally remembers that suitcases do not pack themselves” (Kindersley & Vine, p. 23)
In order for a marriage to succeed, the romantic love should still be there as a solid foundation for the marital love. That marital love is a combination of a sexual and emotional friendship. On that note, I leave you with this quote:
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” –Friedrich Nietzsche
SOURCE: Kindersley, Tania, and Sarah Vine. Backwards in High Heels: The Impossible Art of Being Female. London: Fourth Estate, 2009. Print.