I first started watching the Sex in the City (SITC) series years after the final season ended. I was inspired to start watching Sex in the City because I wanted answers about what it means to be a woman, particularly an alpha female. Carrie Bradshaw, the main character in SITC, had this tight knit crew of sexy, high-profile women by her side that wore sky high heels and drank cosmos. I did not fit into this crowd, but it was something that I attempted to emulate at 19-years-old.
At this time, I was in the middle of the Big Breakup—reference to Mr. Big unintended! The supposed love of my life who I dated in college for a year and a half had suddenly broken up with me over a Skype session. Was this really all that I meant to him, I wondered, was this my worth? A five-minutes Skype conversation before he went to bed that night and straight to work that following morning was all that I was worth after a year and a half?!
The problem was that I was too heavily correlating my worth with someone whose hip I was metaphorically and occasionally literally attached to during that time period. Once I started watching SITC after the Big Breakup, I came to the tough realization that I essentially lost all of my college friends during this time period. They were all out living their lives, making their most of their four years here, and then here I was…boyfriendless and friendless.
Being an Alpha Female isn’t about hating men. This isn’t intended to be a “raving feminist” blog, but this quote applies aptly to how I feel:
“The trouble is that, for women, being “nice” often translates into putting up with things we should never put up with. How many times has some creep sat uncomfortably close to me on the bus and stared me down, yet I’m too afraid to just get up and move, lest I offend him?
We smile when we’re harassed on the street or hit on by jerks. We laugh at sexist jokes. We learn that when we have strong opinions, we’ll be called bitches and that if we get angry, we’ll be called hysterical. When we say what we want, we’re called pushy or aggressive.
Part of learning “ladylike” behavior is about learning to smile politely when someone is being crude. Femininity has long been attached to passivity and to being docile. Men fight, women giggle and fume silently.”
– Megan Murphy
Basically, I want to be taken as seriously as a woman with long hair in a dress as I would be with glasses on and my hair in a bun while suited up. Women do not have to be like men to be strong. Feminine is strong.